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 Would this Happen IN Ortonville

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mouthpiece
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PostSubject: Would this Happen IN Ortonville   Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:29 am

The video portrayed on the portal page would and could happen in Ortonville. We have just missed the ship. When we locate the ship we will move this community in a positive direction. I know many very good people in this community but you need to be more active.

One of the reasons the problem in the girl's basketball program was never heard is because of preconceived notions about who I am. Gossip continues to permeate this community and my enemies, normally people I haev been against, attempt to make false accusations against me. The result is there is a lack of listening.

When I appeared in front of the school board I was attempting to improve a program. I did not advocate the removal of a coach. I had written a specific plan in an attempt to improve the program leaving the coach in place. Instead the coach claimed I was attempting to get her terminated and brought her group of supporters to defend her. I did not personalize the issue.

I am trained to read body language and Mr. Zahrbock before I even spoke had his arms crossed and scowled as I approached the board. Mr. Hienrich has a personal vendatta against one of the families and is using hs position to get even with this family.

The school board has violated its rules regarding "bullying". I have decided not to be involved in the litigation, but if what happened did occur, the school has taken an incredible risk and violated state law. See MN Stat. 121A.0695.

As I was attempting to avoid litigation, others crossed the line in my opinion. I will stay out of the fray, but I had a solution and no one heard.

This is what I mean when I say, the video can occur in Ortonville but we need compassion instead of shoving our ideas down anothers throats. One method will pave the way to a quality school we can all be proud of. The other way will lead to the courtroom.
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sickofit
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PostSubject: RE: Would this happen in Ortonville   Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:47 am

After reading Mouthpiece's post, I decided to look up the MN Statute he referred to, and ran across a site that has a lot of interesting information. Check out www.bullypolice.org
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Zorro
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PostSubject: In so many words..."Just Get Over It, Huh?"   Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:30 am

I think the “intended” purpose of that meeting with the coach, administrators and the girls’ basketball team was to close the door and “move on” from the former controversy. (If it was meant to allow team members to air and work through their frustrations or concerns, the coach shouldn’t have been present – Duh.)

The fact that things went awry was apparently unexpected – The adults in the room seem to have failed to realize the level of pain some girls were in, and the lack of appropriate resolution prior to the decision to have a “move on” rally. They responded to the emotion ineffectively – since it was counter to their OBJECTIVE for the meeting, their instinct was to shut it down…or, it seems, let the other teens in the room have at it.

So, instead of being permitted to process their issues with things, the girls were once again mistreated, adding to their pain. Unjust pain causes anger in well adjusted people -- I believe these girls aren't looking for blood -- they are looking for justice, resolution and respect. Again -- Duh.

Whether ignorant or calculated in how it was handled, this episode has added to the problem. Control, ego and ‘winning’ overcame what should have prevailed instead – maturity, fairness and understanding. Where’s Beaver Cleaver’s dad when you need him? In fact, why are parents not part of this solution instead of just school staff and administrators? Once again, it points to something very wrong with the whole picture.
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PostSubject: RE: Would this happen in Ortonville   Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:25 pm

Zorro, I wondered the same thing - why haven't the parents been included in these meetings? If my child was involved in something like what is happening to these girls, you bet I would be right there whether the school admin and/or coach wanted me there or not. It sounds like they are trying to hide something from the parents...or just get away with their bully tactics while no one is around to stand up for these girls.
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PostSubject: Why the differences in opinion?   Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:11 pm

Yesterday a number of concerned people approached me and pointed out that they had heard about the meeting and that everything went well and the criticism was out of place.

My sincere goal is to do what I can in improving the program, nothing more, nothing less. How can one legitimately be in opposition? How can this be offensive to people? Most importantly, how can people at the same meeting come away with a different opinion about the meeting? Then it hit me.

This was nothing more than an attempt to mediate. This is the second time a local government agency attempted to what they call “mediate”.

Here is the legal definition of mediation, “"Mediation means a process in which a neutral person or persons facilitate communication between the disputants to assist them in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement.”

"Mediator means a neutral person who conducts a mediation (and) includes any person designated by a mediator either to assist in the mediation or to communicate with the participants in preparation for a mediation."

Most certainly the school board members present have already taken a position as I have indicated in this thread. Present was almost all who supported the coach and those who supported the coach thought it went well. That is not surprising.

The problem was the others who disagree with what has gone on. I thought to myself what was the problem in this setting. The problem is that there was a gross imbalance of power and without recognizing how to equalize the imbalance of power the attempt to mediate was destined for failure. This would be like having a mediation with a person who has beat up his wife and have him conduct the mediation.

This is the second time in a few years the “locals” have tried to mediate without a trained mediator and it is probably the second time the result will be litigation. This case will probably be in the court system for years. Why?

I will not be involved, but why is winning, power playing and bullying more important than resolving the problem?

I do not know who is giving our local entities this horrible advice. They obviously are not litigators. I do know this, there are only two parties that benefit from litigation. They are the Defendant’s lawyers, normally paid by the hour, and the Plaintiff’s lawyers, normally paid on a contingency fee.

The losers are the coach, the team the program, the children, the community and the parents. I am staying out this time. A lawyer from Minneapolis or St. Cloud, or Willmar would take this case in a heartbeat.

This all occurred because of bad advice. Mediation works only when the mediator is a true “Neutral”. The second one side perceives the mediator is not neutral, the mediation fails.

The girls were victimized and traumatized again. Why? Who selected this method of resolving this dispute? Who selected the school board members? Why?

Poor decision-making and all of us need to find out who made this decision?

I think we can understand why different people had different perceptions of how the party went. It is time to try to understand, rather than buy a bigger bulldozer.

In the video the team winning the ball game understood and had compassion for the child not quite so gifted. Did the winners of the dispute have the same compassion and understanding for the three girls that disagreed?
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