A Senior Moment

David McClure of
> McKinney : A senior moment ... at
> 48?
>
> David McClure teaches science and coaches at Faubion Middle School in McKinney . He is also a Teacher Voices volunteer columnist.
> His email address is dmcclure9066@yahoo.com.
>
> $5.37. That's
> what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I
> dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes
> and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having
> already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back
> out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the
> Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to
> me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the
> senior citizen
> discount."
>
> I turned to see who
> he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting
> the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
> cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50
> yet a mere child! Senior
> citizen?
>
> I took my burrito
> and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with
> Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to
> boil. Old? Me?
>
> I'll show him,
> I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
> strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a
> smile.
>
> Before I could say
> a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me,
> like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A
> toddler?
>
> "Dude!
> Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I
> stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to
> rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly
> makes a man elderly! It could happen to
> anyone!"
>
> I turned and headed
> back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but
> it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
> another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple
> beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads
> hanging from my rearview
> mirror.
>
> Then, a few other
> objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.
> Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially
> eaten doughnut on the
> dashboard.
>
> Faster than you can
> say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments
> later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to
> finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is
> when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My
> stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my
> burrito, only it was nowhere to be
> found.
>
> I swung the truck
> around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
> restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth
> and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is
> the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I
> leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was
> ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and
> then go straight home and apply for Social Security
> benefits.
>
> Emo had no clue. I
> walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came
> up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was
> holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I
> think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the
> food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly
> apologized.
>
> She offered these
> kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff
> like this all the
> time."
>
> All of this is to
> explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was
> racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the
> officer, I'm not too old to be driving this
> fast.
>
> As I walked in the
> front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed
> her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I
> promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with
> a blanky.
>
> The good news was I
> had successfully found my way home.
>
>
>
>
>