Did the Ortonville Independent Write the News or Create the News

The Ortonville Independent Article on the Women's Basketball Coach was nothing more than attempt to sell newspapers at the expense of the children, parents and the school.

In fact, Ms. Kaercher called me to give a quote on the matter. I declined because I felt it would exacerbate the problem instead of looking for a solution.

A Problem? If you would read the article you would think that the parents had complaints about playing time during the summer. WOW! Is the Ortonville Independent that desparate to create news instead of reporting the news?

The issue that was addressed was there is a long history of complaints with the women's basketball program. The complaints go back at least three years on what best can be described as unorthodox coaching techniques.

There were significant psychological issues reported going back three years. Both Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage want to maintain a program that is at best a poor program? A program that is causing a loss of self esteem, invasion by the coach of inappropriate boundaries and now a war in the newspaper.

If Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage believe that we should not improve this program then they should state. To incorrectly state the issue to support the coach only exacerbates the real issue.

Perhaps they should use a better source of their information than a Rumor-mongering Tabloid.

There are two "sacred cows" in this community. You NEVER speak ill of the school or the hospital. Anyone who dares to make a complaint is considered an outcast. Here we have a group of people daring to defy the status quo. I have only been observing this issue from a distance but now find it hard not to make some observations.

The local newspaper has printed two articles on this subject. It has also printed two letters by local citizens in response to the first article. In her letter Ms. Laura Lamb has given us an interesting perspective as to the power of the first article. Based on what she read she perceived that the issue was about children "not being involved" in a summer basketball tournament. Then she basically spent the remainder of her article about parents who "fail" their children.

One week later Ms. Kristi Delage jumps on the bandwagon and heartily agrees with Ms. Lamb and takes it a step further to the "BIG PICTURE." Ms. Delage bases her opinion upon the fact that she is a parent who has children involved in sports and she is a coach. Mind you that neither of these women have stated that they are knowledgeable of the actual complaints or were present at the meetings where it was discussed. Ms. Delage then spends the bulk of her letter talking about the lack of respect for authority and how you need to be a "team" player. This kind of pep talk is expected from a coach. Between Ms. Lamb's and Ms. Delage's letter some people might think that these parents are just complainers who are failing their children and don't teach their children respect.

Is there another possibllity? Is there a "BIGGER PICTURE"? Most people can agree that being part of the team is important and showing respect is important but what happens when some people are not doing their job? Is is appropriate to address the situation to try to improve it? Are these parents being castigated in the newspaper? Is this how things are done in Ortonville? A person says this is wrong and then people talk and say they are failing the children and don't teach them respect? Is it possible that there really is a problem?

Good parents teach not only respect but how to stand up when there is a wrong, even though some people don't like to hear the truth. It takes courage to speak up. Good parents listen to their children and when their child has a problem they talk to them and work it out and when they see that their child needs help they will stand up and defend them from injustice. That is my definition of a "good parent."

A "good parent" does not check their brains at the school door. "Good parents" do not undermine the "authority that was given to someone else in an activity" but they do supervise to be sure that the people they are "paying" to teach their children are acting responsibly. If they do not believe that this is being done responsibly then they have a duty and obligation to address it. If the only response in defense is to be a team player, show respect, and don't question my authority then I am not surprised that there are parents who are joining together to bring out this issue.

Ms. Lamb wrote:

I opened the "Ortonville Independent" last week and read about the group of parents who actually hired an attorney to represent them at a school board meeting to address concerns about their children not being involved in a summer basketball tournament."

Is there something wrong with hiring an attorney? Do people have a right to an attorney if they need one? How hard did the school push to force these parents to have to seek outside help in order to be heard?

Ms. Delage wrote:

"It is truly a tragedy that a small group of young people and parents have to make such a strong statement about the current girls coaching situation without truly looking at the big picture, and overshadowing the many respectable,courteous young people and leaders we do have in our area."

This statement by Ms. Delage is puzzling. What "strong statement" is she talking about? One also has to wonder how would Ms. Delage know if these parents have not looked at the "big picture"? Isn't that kind of insulting the intelligence of the parents, to assume that they haven't thought of that? Why would some parents coming to the School Board to address wanting improvements in the program be seen as a slight to other "respectable, courteous young people and leaders we do have in our area." If you are addressing an issue then that is the issue you are addressing. Don't bring in innocent people who are not a part of it.

This reminds me of a book I read on logic. One of the tactics to counter your opponent is to take a truth (Like: Parents came to the board meeting) and add other truths to it that aren't necessarily related to it (like: Some parents aren't responsible and take their kids out of school to get their hair cut or let them skip school to sleep in and don't teach their kids to respect authority.) The problem would come in if you put the two truths together like this:

The parents who pull kids out of school to get their hair cut and let them miss school to sleep in and don't teach their kids to respect authority shouldn't go to the school board to complain.

Personally I think that kind of tactic is low.

one four the team. We all should stand up for what is right

There are two versions of what the meeting was about. The Tabloid version and the truth.

The meeting was called to improve the women's basketball program as it continues to be the most controversial program in the Ortonville school.

As the administration and school board wholeheartedly debated the issue, the Ortonville Independent wrote the story critical to me and the parents.

Apparently Ms. Delage claimed I thought it was right of students to show disrespect to the coach. That never came up in any discussions. Ms. Delage debated with herself. Apparently believing that people who are sick should not see a doctor.

Ms. Lamb also debated with herself by saying that people with psychological issues should keep to themselves.

If this seems illogical it all started with an illogical report of the Ortonvile Tabloid because they needed to sell papers.

Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage apparently believe that there are no programs in the Ortonville Schools that need improvement and if they do we should shut up and respect the poor program.

AND we wonder why the public school system has failed our society. Parents need to be proactive and children should be taught appropriate boundaries.

Ortonvile's basketball program needs revamping and I would encourage people who need a doctor to see a doctor. People who need to see a psychologists should see a psychologist and people who need a lawyer should see a lawyer.

We need to quit being close minded and improve the community in which we live. I was professional in attempting to do this. Perhaps the newspaper should also seek improvement on accuracy and those who rely on the Tabloid will always be easy to debate. By the way, I have also been a coach for a number of years.

Let's discuss how to improve the program and then all of us will say "Let's hear it for the team"

mouthpiece wrote:

The Ortonville Independent Article on the Women's Basketball Coach was nothing more than attempt to sell newspapers at the expense of the children, parents and the school.

In fact, Ms. Kaercher called me to give a quote on the matter. I declined because I felt it would exacerbate the problem instead of looking for a solution.

A Problem? If you would read the article you would think that the parents had complaints about playing time during the summer. WOW! Is the Ortonville Independent that desparate to create news instead of reporting the news?

The issue that was addressed was there is a long history of complaints with the women's basketball program. The complaints go back at least three years on what best can be described as unorthodox coaching techniques.

There were significant psychological issues reported going back three years. Both Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage want to maintain a program that is at best a poor program? A program that is causing a loss of self esteem, invasion by the coach of inappropriate boundaries and now a war in the newspaper.

If Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage believe that we should not improve this program then they should state. To incorrectly state the issue to support the coach only exacerbates the real issue.

Perhaps they should use a better source of their information than a Rumor-mongering Tabloid.

Ms Delage talks respect , you have to earn it to get it. Your husband has respect you can not ride on his coattail for it. Go out and earn it . Why don't you go and get the truth from one or all the people involved with the problem. Listen with an open heart and mind, then form your opionion. It takes a big person to face the truth and not follow the lead lamb. If someone wants respect, first you show respect, it goes both ways, not just one way. You say your daughter had some problems with the coach also, are you scared of the coach or you wanted your child to have more playing time. Stand up for what is right, show your kids right from wrong. I also played sports and had alot of respect for my coach and they had respect for ALL the kids no matter who you were. THAT IS RESPECT. So you shut up. Go earn your own respect. Ms Lamb stop blowing your horn you have no clue whats really going on.

bulldog,

Your observations about how important it is to get both sides of the story is definately appropriate and I do agree that true respect is earned. One can give respect to a person because of their position, like a mayor or a senator, but it won't last long if the person is not behaving well. One also shows respect by allowing the other side to speak.

In any case while I may disagree with Ms. Lamb and Ms. Delage in their position I would never discourage them from speaking and they are free to do so on this website if they choose. The purpose of this forum is to allow people to speak. It is possible that in some ways people do not want to have the issues be public. Possibly for privacy reasons. That makes it difficult to talk and work things out.

Bulldog, I do hope that some of the issues to improve the basketball program can be discussed in this public forum. If people know about what is going on it is better than wild rumors and innuendo. Please keep us informed about the issues as best you can. Thanks.

Mouthpiece and lady hawk, Thanks to you for being out spoken on the basketball ordeal. It is so hard for one being involved in this issue to stay calm about the decision the school board has made. My daughter suffered many months of depression and was considered an outcast among her peers. As parents we heard many negative situations from our daughter from the preseason practices to the first ball game, she approached the coach who in turn more or less, ignored her. On many occassions I tried to discuss the change that we noticed our daughter was having on a weekly bases with the coach and asked her to keep in contact with us, which was never done, we more or less got the, oh its just another parent having issues look, the fact is that it was not. As parents we were concerned about the lack of energy, the constant wearing of her hood on her sweatshirts, the lying in fetal position and totally withdrawing from going places with her friends. Work is all she would do. We discussed with our daughter if playing ball was all worth this emotional breakdown.She responded with I love the game and want to play. As parents we allowed her try one more game and if the treatment of the coach continued, we said enough is enough. And finally at the Hancock game she had enough. All the girls returned to the floor after the halftime, with saddened looks on their faces, my daughter in turn, did not come out for quite a while which concerned me to the point of no return. Saddened by her look I went to the bench and gave my daughter her warmups and told her I was going out to start our van. She looked at me like no other look I had seen before and said she wanted out of here now. I told her to hang in there and she broke down and said you have no clue what I just went through. She got up went to the locker room changed her clothes and gave her jersey to the coach and walked away. I applaud her in doing so after I had heard what the coach had said in the locker room. I was the longest ride of my life coming home from Hancock and listening to her break down. As parents we felt obligated to wait until the season ended to pursue and arguements with the coach and the Athletic director. I was fair to us to let the whole ordeal cool down, our mistake, we should have pursued it earlier so the rest of the girls would not have gone through what they did. I will write more soon, I am in tears right at this moment and need to close.

Wiggles- I am so sorry for what your family has been through. I always thought
coaches were supposed to inspire, encourage, and make children feel good about
themselves. Apparantly here that is not the case.

Thank you for sharing your story, and in this effort some changes can be made.
Changes cannot be made unless people speak up.

I hope that others will tell of their experiences as well.

Topgun thanx, It is nice to know someone actually does care. My daughter is not the only one involved, many girls have been affected by this coach, some told not to speak up by their parents, some spoke up without their parents knowing but refused to make it an issue for reasons unknown. What is sad is that we had many meetings about this situation and it seemed as if we got no where. Many things were kept from the board, again reasons unknown. We were told many things would change, another case of cover up. I feel sad for all those girls who have chose not to tell the truth just to get on the good side of a coach and everyone can put two and two together and know the reason for this, favoritism. I feel sorry for the fact that the school board did not further steps to change things. They lost 8 children in the district as a result of their decision. I am also saddened at the fact of the gossip against the families as the whole truth has not been exposed. I myself believe in what is right and the truth must prevail. I have always taught my children to be respectful in all life brings to them but in this case how can they respect authority that has no respect for them. The issue stands, how long will this mistreatment of the children continue. It has gone on for many years and destroyed lives. My daughter as a senior refused to return to Ortonville, my goodness, for a senior to not want to return there for her last year, there must be something wrong. I will continue to speak out until the truth is told.To this day, my daughter is still in therapy for depression, the result of the basketball coach, how much more are we going to allow. My children are my world and no one will change that. There is so much more to tell. Talk again soon

wiggles, thanks for telling us your side. I read your first post shortly after you made it but was to moved to speak. There are many who care. This is the beginning of openness in this community. It may be painful to talk about but like a wound it must be opened so that it can be cleaned. Your issue is with the school but that overflows into the community. Favoritism is not only in the school but in the community as a whole. Be brave and stand up for what is right. Keep your courage. Speak the truth. Temper your emotions. People are listening now.

Ladyhawk, Thanks for the chin up, I appreciate it. Don't get me wrong, I love :lol: the city of Ortonville and the school as a whole, especially the teachers, they are a great group of peopleand care about the children, it is just the unfair decision the school made when it comes to my daughter and the other girls who have to live with this for the rest of their lives. High school is suppose to be the most memorable time of their lives. Children are our future and we need to do all we can to protect them from wrong doing and harm in any way possible. I feel the system has failed in doing so. Yes, they said they will make changes, but what happens behind close doors is another story. I appreciate your support and hope some day the truth will arise and people will understand the point we are trying to get across. A coach is to be a teacher as well as a friend, and support the children not turn against them.

If a person is controlling instead of leading, everything goes badly for them eventually. It may work for a while, but it falls apart.
The point is not that you tried to change the situation, but that you spoke up. Sometimes when you do that, you don't win the battle in front of you -- but you win in the end. You and your daugher will realize that your self confidence, your self esteem, your character and your courage were tested and you rose to the call. That's something to be proud of. As for the situation, every blow for justice works to crumble the walls of tyranny. Keep at it!

Thanks Zorro, I never looked at it in that perspective, we have really come around listening to all the feed back and our hope of life is changing in a good way. Thanks for all those willing to listen you have touched our lives in a way you will never know. Thanks again

Whenever I take a heavy blow, a sit down with a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center. Then, I list on one side all of the people who support me and value me, and on the other I list those who are the "detractors." I write my mistakes on the same side, and the "silver linings" of the event under my supporters. When I look at that, it lifts my spirits and shows me clearly, in black and white, that I got hit unfairly and that I'm on the right track.
It's sure a lot easier to dump it and move on when you know you are on the right path and that it was just one of those things that happens to good people sometimes. Poof. It disappears for me. I give myself a little TLC, I let others take a little care of me, and I'm back on top in no time.
It would be a shame if someone caused you to feel bad about yourself when it is they who should look in the mirror. When you get knocked down, consider the source, and take stock of all who support you -- I found they are usually my heros!

Outsider just reading the paper. Read Lamb's letter. Read DeLage's letter. Know there is something going on with coach and players. But the paper didn't really state what the problem was. Is the problem now solved?

The problem is far from being solved. There are many things I would like to say about the whole ordeal since I am one of the families involved, but how does one go about it without the sue word thrown back at you. Right now I am confused also, the coach is being monitored, ok if she did nothing wrong then why is she being watched. Why were apology letters sent out to the girls involved from the coach and others stating she was sorry for anything she said or did to make our daughters feel this way, by the way they were copy and pasted and the names were just changed. If nothing was wrong with the coach and it was so called the parents had a problem about their daughters playing time, then why was one of the girl involved named to pheasant conference and top player, its evident to me it is not about playing time. There were many things promised to the parents from meetings held with the school, many things said they would be looked into and were not presented to the board. The first board meeting about the issue was a joke. The parents involved were more or less asked not to attend but the coach and her back up were there, gee how were we suppose to say anything when we are not there, but all the positive input was. To me it is a cover up and soon someone else will walk in the shoes of these girls and it will start all over again. God help us that it doesn't, seeing another child go through what mine did with the degrading and constant self demeaning from a coach that caused her into deep depression and lots of therapy,and having her peers turned against her from a coach who thrives off of this. God help all of you who think this is a healthy way to raise a child because it's not, if we parents don't stand up for what is right for our children, this behavior of this coach will continue to destroy lives as she did to my daughters.

wiggles your not alone. we have alot too say also but it is a bad time our kids are still in the system. give me time and will tell all of it with you. Hang in there were here for you. take care bulldog

In addressing the coaching problem-first a BIG thank you to those of you who took the time to ask questions and listen with an open mind to both sides. Most definitely, it has come to light that there have been bits and pieces omitted along the way to persuade the general public that "once again" parents have overreacted by the way this coach interacts with their daughter(s).
It's absurd and disheartening to tally the number of individuals and families that have throughout the years been on the receiving end from this individual's shortcomings. It has changed their lives! No one can truly understand the full impact this coach has on her players until they've had a daughter play BB and experience it first hand. We've watched our daughters change right before our very eyes-swearing and cussing, throwing their gym bags on the floor, slamming doors and slowly be torn apart inside until they no longer had any self confidence and self worth left. Our precious children, the future, whom we entrusted to you, the coach and school, to nurture and guide, protect and build up-you have NOT done your job!
How can we expect these teenagers to lead healthy and productive lives and make proactive decisions in their lives and become the world's next leaders when they've been taught to hide from the truth, disrespect others, and manipulate people on a daily basis? It's extremely sad to watch other parents sit by in the wings when they know that their children have been belittled as well and bow to peer pressure for fear of losing their friendships, status in the community and /or their jobs have been threatened. What kind of role models have we become for our children and the community as a whole?
Unfortunately, there have been many attacks by individuals on this "buzzing" topic. Could it be that those vocalizing are ashamed of their behaviors and feel empowered by degrading others? This summer some talented girls who played basketball were labelled "uncoachable". Does this mean that they were without a coach or does it mean that the coach has quit coaching because it required more effort and energy than she was willing to give? A coach is like a teacher-they need to be held accountable for their behaviors at all times.
For those families who are/have struggled-other people in the community do care and support you in trying to CHANGE the minuses into pluses.

wiggles wrote:

The problem is far from being solved. There are many things I would like to say about the whole ordeal since I am one of the families involved, but how does one go about it without the sue word thrown back at you.

It is my understanding that anything said in a public meeting may be repeated. You are only repeating what was said publically. You may want to check with an attorney to be sure of your position and what you may discuss and that way you will feel more confident and know your boundaries.

No Snowball-The problem is not solved. It is just sweeped under the rug in hope's it all go away soon, I AM NOT GOING AWAY!!!!! Bulldog will not give up . Is it that hard to not rehire someone? Is it not a year to year contract? What are the gains (losses)? For a team to be labelled "uncoachable" is not the thing to say!! They were undefeated in their summer bb league. They played with These kids sent a bold statement to everyone we should listen to them. There is a BIG problem!!!

I agree Bulldog, I will not walk away from this issue, it has gone way past the words, I SURRENDER!!!! Until this issue gets resolved, I'm not stopping.
It has hurt way too many children and I will not let it get swept any further under the rug. The rug has now been hung out to dry and there is no where else for this issue to hide. Keep the faith and let it roll! :lol: I have had a new outlook on this issue, there is a lot of support out there and when the truth gets all out, it is gonna hit hard.
OUR CHILDREN DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE HEARD! NOT HURT!